Besides being a mash up of all the things that keep me motivated, this is a short phrase I created shortly after the loss of two people, very important to me. Both of them taught me the importance of life, and to never take a single moment for granted. Since, I define my life in measure of whom I meet, the decisions I make, the opportunities I seize, and most importantly, what I learn from them. Good or bad, I give my all and remind myself each day is an chance to turn it all around...a new day to dwell in clarity.
I woke up this morning to the sunshine, pouring through my window and I smiled. I know it's silly to think they sent it to me, but this sunshine reminds me of Carly, and Esteban. Two people I hold close to my heart, and will never forget. Every day, I am reminded of the impact you both had on me.
Coincidentally, they were both two of the first people I met in high school. I remember standing in a lunch line, a scared little freshman who knew no one and out of no where, Esteban tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could buy my pizza. We sat and had lunch together, and from then on we were wonderful friends. Years later, when he was diagnosed with Clear Cell Sarcoma, I can't describe the fear, and even anger that I felt. But he, not even once, sulked about the diagnosis. He shrugged it off and just said "I got this." When he had his leg amputated I visited him in the hospital. You'd imagine someone in his situation would be down, but there he sat, cheerfully, in his hospital bed, watching surgery shows, and asked me..."Just one thing...." as he lifted up the side where he leg used to be, "Do I still have a butt?" and he laughed. It was uncanny...the hope, the inspiration, and the drive he had through it all. I admire him and his strength every day, reminding myself, "I got this." Less than a year after his diagnosis, on June 10th, 2010....the cancer prevailed. He still inspires me, every day.
I'm daily reminded of the kindness they both shared with me, and the world around them. Carly, as some said, was just a burst of sunshine. She was also one of the first people I met in high school. I couldn’t believe how kind Carly was to me, someone she barely knew. She had a gift for empathizing, and feeling deeply what other people felt. Having a bad day? Carly was there to hug you, instantly. She genuinely cared about how your day was, and what was new in your life. I miss that. She taught me that being yourself is the biggest and the sometimes hardest part of life. But that it was also the most important. Her words stuck with me, and I'm sure anyone else who heard them. Whether it was one of our long life talks, or lyrics she wrote in her music. Carly was, and still is a shining example of purpose and success in her music, friendships, and all else she set her hands to. I find inspiration through Carly in my art and the lesson she taught me, even in times when I mess up, to keep on, and just to smile. "Love Wins". It was that simple.
On October 6th, 2010 Carly took her own life. It's still so hard for me to comprehend, 6 months later, how such a beautiful soul, and radiant girl could feel so alone in this world. There is not nearly enough said about the fragility of life, the precious moments that ought to be cherished and the sacredness of a true friend; the ones we think we will have forever, until the unthinkable happens.Carly was truly a ray of sunshine, she lit up so many lives. Everything seemed to darker when she left, but I think her light will remain in peoples’ hearts forever.
Carly, Esteban....There isn't a single day I don't miss you, or wonder why things happened the way they did. You both remain my inspiration in so many of the things that I do, and much of the purpose behind my art. It's hard not having you here, but you both left behind so much to be remembered, and celebrated. The world is not the same without you, but at least it's a better place because of you.LoveWins. I Got this.
Carly Henley Esteban Garcia
The best writing I've seen in a long time. Very moving, Big C.
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